Ponderings

“When this is over, there will be more fear in the world”

Fear.

A four letter word. As simple as Love and Hate.

Power. Money. Tell me you don’t want them and your not bothered and I will come visit you ten years from now.

Happiness. What is it like to be happy? Simple Happiness. I think I forgot. Eating an ice-cream on a sunny Saturday afternoon makes me happy. Does that count?

I fear a lot of things in life. I fear the man who said those words in quotations. Is it good to be afraid? Should I put on my brave face and walk around pretending everything’s okay.

This world has lost it. Find me a black hole out of this mess we’ve created. You will find there is none. To some things in life there are no solutions. Some people just do not want to accept that.

“You’re very close to heaven, brother... Insha'Allah"

When you hear someone give that as a reason for a mortal to kill another one of his kind - You wonder what kind of heaven he plans on going to. A one filled with serial killers? Did no one ever tell them that could be Hell they were referring to?

I preach “love your neighbour as yourself” yet I fail to practise it in many everyday situations. Does that make me a hypocrite? Or a normal human being caught up by the world and it’s expectations.

This world can build you up. One mistake and the same world will crush your existence. The cause of Michael Jackson's death was not himself but the world.

Quotations used were taken from Dispatches:Terror in Mumbai aired on Channel 4. Catch up on 4OD. No offence intended.

I feel

Used.
Tired.
Angry.
Confused.

Apprehensive? Sometimes you want something so bad and you wish there was nothing in the world that would stop you from getting that something or someone but then life gets in the way.

Sometimes you have to question. Is it a good thing that life gets in the way? Or is it life's way of being poop.

No matter what, if your the kind of person that won't rest till you get it your way - even life can't stop you.

Then you end up with a million questions.

Frankly, I just need to clean my room.
I may have developed OCD overnight ...well I'm blaming it on going to a girl's grammar school.
Have a good week everybody.

Bitterness

Becoming a rockstar is easier than getting into medical university.

And what's worse? Getting work experience in a GP's surgery is as impossible as trying to slam a revolving door!

Life's not good. I am a bitter person. A sour bitter person.

Equal Oppurtunity is nothing but a load of absolute nonsense.
This world is a lost cause.
I need some work experience with a GP and If I haven't got any arranged by the end of term I will resort to knocking on every surgery in Chelmsford begging for some! How passionate about something can you get and yet......

Cricket Matches and End of Exams

Woo It rained today! Not just pissy raindrops that can't seem to decide whether they want to be plummeting towards the ground but big fat round ones! Having just walked out of the hairdressers with a new haircut all straightened and finished immaculately well by the graduate stylist, I was NOT impressed!

But while sheltering at the bus stop for dad to pick me up I got snapping. Sorry about bad pic quality!


And this one was taken in the car.


Hopefully tomorrow will be a sunny day!

Weather matters aside; Exams are finally over! Wooooo! RAVERAVERAVE!

And loving the Twenty20 Cricket season too! India deserved to be beaten by England. Oh yeah they needed that extra kick up their backside. Newsflash

Dhoni Apologises To The Nation!

Welllll......

....We don't need your apologies!

Scones and Statistics

I made some scones on Friday. They were quite nice except for the fact that they were ment to be circular and ended up being square.



I hate statistics. It is not even interesting or fun or challenging. It is just plain boring. And after nearly a month of continuous exams I think my brain is going to give up.

I need some fun. Fun. The no-strings-attached-kind-of Fun.
June the 15th Baby. Counting down the days to absolute freedom.
x

The moment of truth

He caught her neck and tightened his grip, whispering "Your Mine...".

Laughter.

She was scared for her freedom. Why she asked herself. Why me. She promised herself that if she was ever in a relationship like this she'd end it all. But she couldn't do to it him. Not after what she did before. Looking into his demanding bloodshot eyes, she bit her lip, desperately trying to picture a more sober loving him. Even if it was all a lie. It was better than this.

If only she didn't go hunting for the truth. She would have been happier. She wouldn't be in this mess. If you could call it a mess.

Advancing towards her, she noticed his eyes change - they became softer. Bigger. Like an innocent afraid kitten. "Please don't go. I'm sorry. I love you," he begged.

Yeah right. If he loved her he would give it all up for her. Just like how she gave it all up for him. She didn't want this. She wanted a normal relationship. Just like everyone else. Boy loves Girl and Girl loves Boy.

Not in a million years.

He pulled her closer to him. She felt his breath on her lips and the wetness of her tears down her cheeks. Big fat teardrops. This was it. Now or never she thought. You or me. And after all of this - it will be you and with that she brought the knife to his heart. Hard enough for him to tighten his grip on her - this time in fear. She watched him hit the ground.

I love you

He could feel the icy cold water hit him. The underwater currents tossing and throwing him around this abyss he found himself in. If only she'd reach out and hold his hand and not be afraid of falling into it with him.

But then again..He promised her the world.. Restricted her from the same things that were his pleasures in life.

And now she has nothing... but herself while he's off on a mission to save the world... so why should she care to save him... when he tried to drown her first...?

What goes around comes around..
..Babe.