The moment of truth

He caught her neck and tightened his grip, whispering "Your Mine...".

Laughter.

She was scared for her freedom. Why she asked herself. Why me. She promised herself that if she was ever in a relationship like this she'd end it all. But she couldn't do to it him. Not after what she did before. Looking into his demanding bloodshot eyes, she bit her lip, desperately trying to picture a more sober loving him. Even if it was all a lie. It was better than this.

If only she didn't go hunting for the truth. She would have been happier. She wouldn't be in this mess. If you could call it a mess.

Advancing towards her, she noticed his eyes change - they became softer. Bigger. Like an innocent afraid kitten. "Please don't go. I'm sorry. I love you," he begged.

Yeah right. If he loved her he would give it all up for her. Just like how she gave it all up for him. She didn't want this. She wanted a normal relationship. Just like everyone else. Boy loves Girl and Girl loves Boy.

Not in a million years.

He pulled her closer to him. She felt his breath on her lips and the wetness of her tears down her cheeks. Big fat teardrops. This was it. Now or never she thought. You or me. And after all of this - it will be you and with that she brought the knife to his heart. Hard enough for him to tighten his grip on her - this time in fear. She watched him hit the ground.

I love you

He could feel the icy cold water hit him. The underwater currents tossing and throwing him around this abyss he found himself in. If only she'd reach out and hold his hand and not be afraid of falling into it with him.

But then again..He promised her the world.. Restricted her from the same things that were his pleasures in life.

And now she has nothing... but herself while he's off on a mission to save the world... so why should she care to save him... when he tried to drown her first...?

What goes around comes around..
..Babe.

Get some sleep

Hmpf Why does life have to be so gay sometimes :( - Not that I have anything against gayness or homosexuality or gay people in general. Speaking of which; You know when people say oh yes there are some pretty crazy books in the library and you think to yourself.. No way what do YOU use the library for? Well it so happened that Rosh and me sat near an aisle that was filled with educational literature about lesbianism and cross dressing. Oh dear Oh dear.

I seem to have developed this new nack for - ; - yes those symbolly things. I don't even know what they're called. :S this is bad. My general studies examiner is going to think I have no basic punctuation. Sad times.

1:45 and no sleep. Yes horlicks has been drunk. I need to sleep. I need to be at the library by 8 doing hardcore revision. Why can't I fall asleep?

At times like these it's so hard to find faith and hope. Ref to Sunday's sermon - Like that hopefull person. "Hopefully I will get the grades" ... "Hopefully my future will be okay" ..."Hopefully I will understand what is going on in my life?!"

Problems....

• As Level Exams
• Teachers who don't seem to understand how important every minute of my life is
  
• P.E - Sorry for not being able to play any kind of sport!
  
• Chemistry Equilibrium and Stupid Chatelier who had to come up with a crazy wacked out principle that I cannot seem to get my head around
• Mathematics in General
• When Did Psychology ever become this hard to revise for?
• I don't frigging care about the biodiversity that this Earth seems to possess.
• And Evolution is so wrong on every level.
  

Sigh.

Sigh. Something's you just have to let go. And no matter how much you wish you could scream it in that certain person's face so they could understand how frustrating it is to watch them use you like a piece of tissue - the only way is to let go.

Oh gosh College tomorrow - or sixth form as some like to call it. Not school please. Maybe a prison sentence. Okay it isn't that bad. It's tragic. I'd rather waste my life away sitting on the couch watching re-runs of Gilmore Girls and Friends than learn about the molecular structure of DNA with MRL. Man, that guy is mental. Wacko, completely wacko in his head! Just because I am not an avid fan of Biological literature and don't find the role of enzymes fascinating!

My cat doesn't like Sainsbury's SO ORGANIC CAT FOOD WITH CHUNKS OF CHICKEN IN A GRAVY WITH SALMON. Craziness. And suddenly he doesn't like milk either. Special lactose free cat milk!

Sigh sigh sigh.

She said what... ?

Tragic Love

Head spinning, she fell against the cold concrete wall for the third time today night. Hard. It hit her.

Why was he being like this? He was never like this!

Surely, she was just being open. He said he loved her...

Bring it out again, another whip. Things begin to slow down in her mind. Oblivious to the pain she looked up at him. Whisper. Please honey let's talk...

Silenced.

The sound of leather against skin. The smell of rustic blood. Woozy.

She steadied herself and found the strength to lift her head again - balancing tentatively on her hands. Breathe.

They warned her. They told her he was no good. And yet. Haha Love is blind. Isn't it? How would they know? He knew her. He was her life. Everything she did revolved around him. He was after all just a victim of the situation. Those accusations must have hurt him. No, This was her fault. Maybe if she gave in - she had to protect the little one.

She reached out to him with one hand and noticed the crimson bruises. Sore - the blood that had clotted opened into fresh streams. It hurt. Just like when he ripped open with those insults. But before she could bring her brain to process words - he'd turned and left.

She looked down in defeat and stared at the life growing in her. A warm hand over it. She wanted to cry but her eyes ached. Lonely. Today was meant to be different. He was not meant to come home drunk. He was not meant to throw the dishes on the floor. He was not meant to remind her of the past.

He was meant to know the present so they could plan their future.

x